Sat 31
2nd XI
Lepton Highlanders
Fake Wedding ensures Rastrick back to winning ways against Lepton

Fake Wedding ensures Rastrick back to winning ways against Lepton

By Rastrick Cricket Club
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Lepton put to the sword in the absence of the Grim Reapers of Cricket

Rastrick returned to winning ways on Saturday with a comprehensive victory over Lepton. The key to the win was clearly ensuring Hions and Shaw were nowhere near the cricket club around 1.30pm.

The groundwork for this win was done 6 months ago when wedding cake addict Andy Pearson arranged himself a fake 3rd wedding to ensure Paulo Shaw (photo attached with rope after recent batting failure)and Norbert Hions were nowhere near the hallowed turf of Roundhill. Hions as best man, yes you heard me right, and Shaw as token unemployed Jacamo model attended the event whilst real cricketing talent was allowed to naturally bloom.

Captain Fartlow rallied his troops with the inspirational statement of "Bat the overs - runs will come - Don't give your wicket away" The skipper clearly did not lead by example as he was back in the pavilion before the outgoing noise of his studs on the metal staircase has stopped resonating around John Bishops fillings.

Runs were as hard to come buy and as hard as refraining to laugh at Karim Wilsons Mondeo when he pedals into the arena on a weekly basis.
Nathaniel Thaxter powered into double figures before the real star of the show Jock Pearson entered the crease. His effortless 49 was only made possible due to the majestic experience and natural ability of the cricketing demi god that is Mark Edley. It's surely only a matter of time before he gets the call for him to bat number 4 for the under 11's.

After setting Lepton a target of 134 Rastrick emerged from their half time tea break not as full as normal. Gone are the days when Vickie Thaxter & Jackie Wood used to both make a cricket tea each on a Saturday to ensure that their troops were fed to bursting point....

Fartlow set his field aggressively and was kicking himself (saved us all doing it)with an early spill from behind the stumps from the magnificent Anderson who's look at his skipper screamed of "Why isn't Dedley stumping?"

The bowlers all bowled well with Thaxter and Anderson (5 for 18)the pick of the bunch. Without the toes for fingers fielding of Shaw & Hions it was up to the Goutstanding fielding of Wilson to ensure that Lepton still had a chance. An annoying last wicket partnership was broken by Jonty Bamforth who lured the athletic number 11 into a false sense of security giving him over 20 in 8 balls before getting his man. Classic Bammy - Game over...

Back at the fake wedding, Hion's speech was going down well to the room full of non English speaking European immigrants that laughed at his every word. Hours ago they were all clinging to the underbelly of John Lynch's lorry on his way through the channel tunnel as the plan to keep the cricketing grim reapers away from Rastrick was executed perfectly.

This week is the real test as a further plan for Hions and Shaw is nearing completion. Will they notice the same crowd and plastic doll that will be christened at 1.30 pm on Saturday at St Matthews Church where they have both been pencilled in as god parents to Paul Shepherd's love child??

A second consecutive victory for the second eleven beckons and Captain Farlow clearly hopes they will........

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Match details

Match date

Sat 31, May 2014




Cedar Court Conference 2